Marriage

I could have also quotes the entire Proclamation to the World about this topic. Marriage is something that affects me every day. I feel like all the council I read and listen to has to do with service and selflessness. I learned that while we are equal partners, we have different roles and shouldn't be competing. It's also important to remember that each person has had a difficult day, whether at work or at home, and responsibilities at home with dinner and other things should not be given to just one gender. There was also specific council to pray together each day, study the scriptures together, and to attend the temple together often. All of these things will strengthen marriages and make the marriage centered on Christ and the Gospel. It is easy for me to be selfish, but when I think of my husband first and try to do small acts of kindness each day, our marriage feels happier and our home is filled with the spirit much more abundantly.

Other quotes:

Ezra Taft Benson
Priesthood session 1994

A man who holds the priesthood accepts his wife as a partner in the leadership of the home and family with full knowledge of and full participation in all decisions relating thereto. Of necessity there must be in the Church and in the home a presiding officer (see D&C 107:21). By divine appointment, the responsibility to preside in the home rests upon the priesthood holder (see Moses 4:22). The Lord intended that the wife be a helpmeet for man (meet means equal)—that is, a companion equal and necessary in full partnership. Presiding in righteousness necessitates a shared responsibility between husband and wife; together you act with knowledge and participation in all family matters. For a man to operate independent of or without regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion.
Keep yourselves above any domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife. Because marriage is ordained of God, the intimate relationship between husbands and wives is good and honorable in the eyes of God. He has commanded that they be one flesh and that they multiply and replenish the earth (see Moses 2:28; Moses 3:24). You are to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it (see Eph. 5:25–31).

Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires. Any domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the intimate relationship between husband and wife is condemned by the Lord.
Any man who abuses or demeans his wife physically or spiritually is guilty of grievous sin and in need of sincere and serious repentance. Differences should be worked out in love and kindness and with a spirit of mutual reconciliation. A man should always speak to his wife lovingly and kindly, treating her with the utmost respect. Marriage is like a tender flower, brethren, and must be nourished constantly with expressions of love and affection.


"The subject of marriage is debated across the world, where various arrangements exist for conjugal living. My purpose in speaking out on this topic is to declare, as an Apostle of the Lord, 3 that marriage between a man and a woman is sacred—it is ordained of God. 4 I also assert the virtue of a temple marriage. It is the highest and most enduring type of marriage that our Creator can offer to His children.
While salvation is an individual matter, exaltation is a family matter. 5 Only those who are married in the temple and whose marriage is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise will continue as spouses after death 6 and receive the highest degree of celestial glory, or exaltation. A temple marriage is also called a celestial marriage. Within the celestial glory are three levels. To obtain the highest, a husband and wife must be sealed for time and all eternity and keep their covenants made in a holy temple. 7 " -Elder Nelson "Celestial Marriage" October 2008

"The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce. In the temples of the Lord, couples are married for all eternity. But some marriages do not progress toward that ideal. Because “of the hardness of [our] hearts,” the Lord does not currently enforce the consequences of the celestial standard. He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law. Unless a divorced member has committed serious transgressions, he or she can become eligible for a temple recommend under the same worthiness standards that apply to other members." -Elder Oaks, "Divorce" April 2007

"Marriage is a divine institution, ordained of God. Achieving success in the home is a supernal challenge—no other success can compensate for it. Unless, however, a husband and wife learn to work together as one, marriage can also be an infernal ordeal. There are too many unhappy marriages in the world today. There are too many marriages that do not stay the course, ending prematurely in divorce. There are too many children who are silently suffering from a lack of nurturing and care because their parents’ union is unhappy or dissolved." -Elder Perry "An Elect Lady" April 1995

"When a family finds itself too far in debt,” he continued, “the atmosphere of discouragement enters the home, relationships become tense, tempers become short, and marital troubles begin to erupt. To meet the indebtedness, the mother may frequently leave her children to themselves while she finds employment out of the home. Irregularities in the home follow: service to God is disregarded, tithing is neglected, prayers become less frequent, persons begin to feel separated and apart from God and church.” -Rulon T. Burton, "The Dangers of Debt" September 1984

My suggestions use three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate.
To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.
Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.
My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It comes from Latin roots: con, meaning “with,” and templum, meaning “a space or place to meditate.” It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” -Elder Nelson "Nurturing Marriage" April 2006

I close with a final example of a desire that should be paramount for all men and women—those who are currently married and those who are single. All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity. Those who already have a temple marriage should do all they can to preserve it. Those who are single should desire a temple marriage and exert priority efforts to obtain it. Youth and young singles should resist the politically correct but eternally false concept that discredits the importance of marrying and having children.7 -Elder Oaks "Desire" April 2011

Elder Hales (Conference, April 1996): "Rationalization that God should change His commandments to accommodate our transgressions leads to spirtual darkness, which only the light of the gospel can remove. To the woman taken in adultery, Christ did not soften the commandment to not commit adultery. Rather, He counseled her to 'sin no more' (John 8:11). He promises all of us forgiveness through repentance. It is we who must change, not the commandments"

President Monson, "Because sexual intimacy is so sacred, the Lord requires self-control and purity before marriage, as well as full fidelity after marriage... Tears inevitably follow transgression. Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears" (Conference 1990)

Elder Packer, (April 1978): "Problem don't resolve instantly. Through prayer and scripture study can they be resolved."